Back in the game..

..but tired as hell. Have been sleeping for ages since I arrived back home from Barcelona. Never enjoyed a bed as much as I done these four days. That was a lie because I actually did once upon a time, well, there are more then once. There will be no details, sorry, even though how I wish this night to remind myself.

Anyways, as a blonde single woman in Barcelona your life is very hectic. I know your thoughts are directed to "you slutty swedish blonde girl" or as a argentinian friend of mine would say "sperrmatic swedish blonde girl". I tought necessarities to my male friends as "Snälla, rara, söta blonda, svenska flicka kan du suga mig?". No, I mean by being chased or hunt down like a little innocent lamb but without the blue eyes since I have green eyes. Thinking about that I even think Elin had more problems then I had because she has blue eyes. Yes, she looks like a little lamb and maybe therefore they think she is easier to hunt. I hope there are any smart horny spanish guy that can save their nation from the mixture of casual sex and drugs. I guess my grateful teaching gave them at least the vocabulary to help them in this situation- with swedish girls.

Once upon a time I had the worst bed ever but I made it more comfortable sometimes by lying on Quique. There is one name but further on there will be no more names mentioned and just a story with imagines that are true and false. For your information there are more true then false but I just want to hide the truth a little so to speak or season it a little bit. I have been single for three years and been dating for three years. I can't tell you have exhausting it been and how much time of my life they have been taking from me. In barcelona it's different but there are still similarities- horny bastards but bastards in a different way or too stony and less horny. Remember if love takes place in Barcelona probably the love will leave you because everyone leaves Barcelona.

My mind has always been striving for staying single because most of the times guys brings forwards the worst and the darkest sides of me. This is being desperate and crying because who can handle this if even yourself can handle it. There are some people that can handle your worst charectaristics and these ones you propably find in caves hidden somewhere because it's very rare. I'm not going to say that I found mine because there are always someone new but not always someone better.

The story beginns as that we were out trying to learn the areas in Raval. I remember my two first days living in Calle Tigre because I didn't even dare to enter the streets of Raval when it was dark. Our first nights we were at the internetcafé or moving us to la rambla going to some clubs that my friend has been visiting before. We tried to avoid the apartment all the time and forced ourselves out in the streets even though we were tired.

One night in February we met Phillipe that will later on become our boss for city hall. The lamb made the wolf drowling for her I think for 6 months. Anyways we decided to follow him to the club and we enjoyed our night as usually as we do in Barcelona. This time though I was completely drunk since I can't remember every detail like a kiss. I always been so picky with not kissing whoever but hot casual sex is fine when you know the guy and he attracts you. The true story is that Phillipe "hired" this guy that I KISSED to follow us back home so the wolf could get himself a bite.

Anyways, we didn't speak days or week after and when we spoken he was speaking with my friend. I couldn't find any interest for a guy not in Spain and especially when I just bring my ass out of a relation painful enough to be my end of my self-esteem. I liked his style and as easy as I'm to convince, change my mind or manipulate we shared one of those better times in bed that I was talking about. Elin left and we were hanging out as friends with benefits I guess. Good friends with good benefits resulted in many patient times. I actually can't even really remember how I was feeling in the beginning because the feelings now are a little bit too overwhelming.

My friend was sure we made a good connection but he wasn't even able to see my cry which happens frequently when she haven't had a night of good rest. The queen is crying and he needs to take care of her when her tears are many times just as true as glas tears. Be a pain is a easy way to loose someone in 10 days if you so want. Both were agreed to loose eachother in some way and we did.

"Today I think about you but I'm thinking about the day that will be tomorrow as well."

Now I'm thinking about You and many days further- that will say the future. I don't feel worried because whatever happens I know we will always stay good friends because that is what we were. I was the one who left Barcelona and I miss it and you guys.

Starting the university tomorrow and my cat is pregnant. Think about how interesting my life will be further on to read about. Probably I will write about something else then my life til I get back to Barcelona. At least I have my book of excuses but since I'm speaking swedish now frequently there might be some excuses in Swedish. Well, the book will only be in english.

Some old words I found in a notebook for reminding:

Han äger ett tomt öga vars ingenting ser.
Han äger ett tomt hjärta som aldrig har haft en lust eller en åtrå.
Han äger bara själva akten och hans stolthet.
I mina ögon likt en utav dom där statyerna från forna tider, kall med en stor snopp.
I mina ögon inte särskilt attraktivt.

Directly translate with with a different touch:

His property is my eye which doesn't see anything.
His property is my heart when there are no lust or desire.
The only thing that is his is the act and his pride.
In my eyes similar one of those statues from ancient time, cold and with a big dick.
In my eyes not particularly attracted.

Tomorrow I might have some clothes online for sale. You know what I heard that they have, a Rebaixes at Zara! Well, now online at Sophias blogg maybe tomorrow or soon. I just realized I have too many clothes and no shoes so if someone wants switch that is perfect deal as well.

//End