Anyways, I was about to forget before when I was talking about adoption that if you don't like your baby you can always visit: http://www.marryourdaughter.com/ and probably there are one representing younger boys, pretty scary truth huh?
Well, I did my investigation so you have to do yours in order to find out more about this website. I'm not going to put up some funny pictures today, well, actually I got one. My friend Caroline took it many years ago when I was a little girl that was constantly drunk. My mother thought I was a alcoholic and she was complaining a lot. I was just out having fun with my friends and broading my contacts, in my dreams. The story behind was that I fall asleep after a night out and Caroline made one of her funny pranks on me writing with mascara "Baby" on my stomach.
I don't know why but everyone seem to have lost someone this summer and I feel so sad because I can never imagine how it feels. I'm even the worst in speaking in these situations but at least I lit a candle in the church at Montserrat. The only one I lost in my life was my grandfather when I was two years old so I don't remember so much. Actually I don't remember almost anything from my childhood and might be because i'm conciously repressing it. No, serious was my childhood very good because I had two of my closest friend being my neighbours and we always did stupid stuff. I was completely evil when I was a child and I guess I still am but in a different and fair way. But it doesn't matter because a good friend of mine told me that you can go so much further in life being evil then being nice. I'm just trying to be fair to eveyone around me and hit them with some kitchy comments and make a lot of jokes of myself. I'm comfortable enough to make joke about myself if I so have to say being a gothic prostitute. Self-esteem haven't always been on the top because the boys have been taking a bigger part in my life then myself. I'm starting to be a little bit ego and I think that's diffently acceptable and just for me. All you other people should give!
"No, everyone should take care of themselves and hopefully everyone have friends that can help them on their way. I see every individual as something unique that will always have the possibility of growth. Woah, what thoughts I have but I'm always trying to be respectful to others opinions and if someone is not respectful to mine then I step them on their foot. "
I always had problems with someone in my surrounding and people can tell when I don't like a person which is to my disadvantage. I need to learn how to control because having control over yourself once in a while is the best. But how I do like to freak out as well especially when I was young. I did a lot of silly thing such as getting wasted, dancing on tables and enjoying life and I'm just finding myself back but without getting wasted. It's not pleasant in my life anymore because I had a very long time of drinking. I think I had my first beer when I was around 13-14 and I had my first kiss in that very moment. No, now I'm lying I had my first kiss when I was abroad and I was 12 or 13 years old. This was with a very hot greek kid. I think he was 15 years and he tried to have sex with me even though that was not a happily moment it was very romantic. It was a nice moment til he tried to touch my fanny on a very uncomfortable spot up in a mountain. Come on, you don't wanna lose your virginity when you are twelve on a uncomfortable spot (preferebly a bed) and not with a greek. Anyways, did I tell you that I met this guy later on when I was 15? God, didn't he grow up to be a handsome man and how rare it was that we met. I was at the same resort with my family and I was swimming. He just shows up swimming as well and ask me what my name is. He couldn't recordnize me but I'm sure he wanted a shot more. That will say a try to pleasant a non-virgin that can imagine herself on uncomfortable spots with a hot greek. It never happened and not that I wished it would have happened because then it would just be a memory by now. Hanging out with guys that are not special for me is not amusing and as fun as making them look redicolous on clubs. An easy way is to just think yourself as a very beautiful woman and then just cross the dancefloor and guys will make notice. It's just an advice for those who still are interested in the opposite sex and no I haven't become a Lesbian. How I wonder how that would be but not very fun because I know. A question is why are they writing guiding books for lesbians? Because many of them don't know how to act in bed which guys do but they do it in a different way so it depends on what you like. Guys can be so stupid in bed as well. Sex is a giving and taking situation where everyone should win.
I guess my mind is too focused on sex today and it's because I'm missing it. I do feel like a nun but a nun wouldn't get wasted tomorrow. A sad thing is that I want get my money from the swedish benefit service til on monday and it was only around 3500 swedish crones. Panic, I need to find myself a job as soon as possible so if anyone has a tips where to find make a comment. Well, actually make a comment anyways because my blogg seem where boring without. I'm going to find myself sleeping off my frustrations now. I even have the most weirdest dreams ever. Hum, speaking about something else- I need to practice my spanish. I signed up for going to school here but they seem to forgot about me. What I do guess is that they didn't make a complete class so they skip the course. So enoying since I already written them two letters asking them about my position and they say I assigned. Goodnight people.
//End
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