The sexual issue

(trying to find a decent position for writing)

Well well, I'm back and soon I'm gone as well, tomorrow is my last night of work and next week is going to be fabulous, marvellous, and just fucking amazing. I'm praying for good weather because it seems like the winter has come back to Barcelona, it was so windy today.
When we came back from work, this is the thing, you always see things on your way back home, yesterday we saw two deaths. First there was a smashed cat at the street and I almost puked, because I came of thinking of my cat that was runovered by a car. It was supersad because she was pregnant. Everyone who doesn't car about cats because they are stupid are stupid people. I love cats, but I learn to like dogs as well, because they are everywhere here in Barcelona. I always thought they smell so much but no I can't differ because whole Barcelona smells like shit.
Next thing we saw was a suicidal bird, okay, I hate bird but it was sad. Waiting for the shop to open, the bird had parked his ass under a trucker's wheel and we where just waiting for it to get smashed. It looked either diseased or stoned, the bird. Well, the man to the trucker never showed up, luckly, so we got time to buy our grosseries and leave the bird to it's destiny. Today we saw old woman, which I thought looked like a young boy with a cap on, but she was just a old woman with her breasts hanging down to her stomach. I thought it was a fat kid having too much sugar for breakfast which would explain the behavior. Anyways, she was brushing her dog, I don't know the story, but she was screaming to the pensioners around, and they were screaming back. Our theory was that the pensioners were complaining about she bushing her dog there. They never stopped, they where just screaming puta, mierda, haha, so embarrasing. I don't think the people in Spain have any dignity at all, seriously.

Well, after that we went back home to barbeque our marshmallows, in a candle! They got caught in fire once in a while but tasted tasty anyways. After some sugar rush I actually suceed to fall asleep, but not for long. I woke up like five times, 1 oclock, 2 oclock .. and so on til I get up at five. First, shower! (yes, it was time for a showerday) then I played music on a high volume pretending that I was going to a party while putting on makeup. Now I'm at work with the biggest wish ever for drinking a cold beer, and hey, don't accuse me for being a alcoholic because I've been very easy on the alcohole lately. I have nothing to do tonight, I already read all the blogs that I usually read and I checked the newspapers, propably I will watch "Dirty, Sexy, money".

There where nothing sexy about this post, I just had a lot ot thoughts this morning and weird dreams about sailers. My other thoughts was why my lack of confidence have occured, and why I feel so worried all the time. I realized it's because I never get time to spend with myself or be creative. I have a solution right now as well, but we just have to wait and see. Yeah, I start wondering as well why I'm so attractive to short guys, it's not necessarily short guys, for me it's okay 1,75m. Most of the swedish girls prefer guys that are over 1,90 but I think it becomes as clumpsy if you are going to have acrobatic sex. Tall guys usually don't know where they have their body -arms and legs, and it could propably end up to be a akward situation where you have his foot in your armpit or something. So, a tribute to short guys, especially in the bed.

Now, I'm going to chill, because that's what I need to do. I feel so mad after this day, trying to have a good rest but without success. How hard can it be? Right now I'm not too happy staying in Barcelona but I guess there will be some changes soon, I'm going to make some changes. I'm just longing to see my sister and July, and Anna is coming soon to Barcelona as well. Going to be so nice to meet some people that are down-to-earth. Here everyone is floating on clouds of drugs, even the air contains drugs, no wondering people are so crazy here. But next week we are taking crazy to a whole new level, i'm going to party so much in LLoret de mar. If you wanna come just give me a fling. Kisses and hugs!

/End