Trapped in a box

..As always I feel trapped, because of my feelings. I had the worst feeling ever today and that is feeling confused and desperate. I can't think clear and everything that I'm saying makes no sense, especially not for myself, and then I'm starting to feel even more desperate. I feel like the world is spinning so fast, and I feel sick. I'm so worried about myself now when I should be considered of the people around me. One comment, one action, can cross me, I feel like when I was a little girl. I was sad quite a lot then, but I grew a confidence, but right now I have some ghosts from my past. These reminds me of how easy someone that I trust can crush me like a bug. We all have our past, but I just wanna live in the future, think straight forward. I wanna be able to love and trust, because if there are no trust there are no love. Maybe you think I sound silly, but it's the truth. Speaking about the truth, I looked so hot when I was young, but so bitchy. I love watching pictures from when I was younger, too sad that my family has none of me when I was a child, I just have some pictures I found at a old community. It feels really nice to watch them and remember, good and bad times, struggles. I still haven't reached the top, right now I'm at the bottom, the bottom of a sea. I offer you these pictures from when I was younger, no comments.

-To the left is me and my sister when I was maybe 13 years young, so is the other one.



- I say: NO COMMENTS!



- The picture to the left is me in my promdress.



Well, I thought I was so hot that I even made collages off pictures myself, and I had pictures on the walls of myself. Where is that confidence? Well, I was a attention bitch, I loved attention. I'm not looking for confidence of my look, well maybe just a little bit, but more in my personality. I was born mean, I still am sometimes, but it's my protection from the outer world. God, I'm talking so much, I'm not going to reveal anything more tonight, I'm just going to relax, watch some movies, relaxation. Take care guys, and see you maybe.

/End