Woah

now it's been over a month since I wrote my last poster. You are probably asking yourself how much can't happened in a month but this month has been really slow, so as for the other months. I thought I would come home to peace and quiteness, which I did but I also noticed that it doesn't suit me for now. I'm getting desperate within these quite minutes, desperate for laugh, love and friendship. My hometown is not like a village but for me it feels like a village, and I'm living on the countryside just close to the fields. Everyone knows eachother here as well, the only sad part is that you don't greet eachother. Umeå is the city in between, it's not that small where you have to say hi to everyone, you can just ignore if you want to. Sometimes it's nice, for example when you are in the center not looking at your best, you can just ignore the people and run your errands.

So, what happened with me? when did I become such a bitterly bitch? I guess it's just that time of the month, you girls and grown men probably know what I mean. Reality checks on mondays as well, I love the weekends and it's not too incommon I feel a little bit crumpy on mondays. My weekends I'm spending quality time with my friends, and on monday I know I need to get back to look for jobs. Yet, I have an extra job but it's not overloading my pockets with money and I'm not having enough hours to do it. Right now it will just keep me barely surviving without enjoying life, I'm saving on the enjoyment of life. There have been some glimpses of hope but almost right away I got thrown out in the country of lost people. No one told me it was going to be this hard to get life on track after you been abroad for a longer time.

So far, I've been to some interviews and these were my glimpses of hope. I started to visualize how my apartment and my studio can look like with the inbringing income but then it hits me with an answer that another candidate got the job. There have been some misfortunes but they are not crushing me. I'm just so deeply wishing for a job, an apartment with my studio, and my man. Wishes do come true if you believe in yourself, and do what you are suppose to do. Now I'm going to study Spanish.

My list to help my out:

• Control your lust (easier said then done, who do not need a human touch?)
• Control your emotions (at least a little)
• Control your food addiction (Everyone knows I love food, salty food, soon to become obesity)

and you'll work it girl!

Meditation would probably help me out here! I'll give you this picture today of my cat Baby because she brings peace of mind.



/The end