Exposing myself

Yesterday I felt a little bit rare and I'm used to these emotions in the end of the month, don't play stupid because you know what I'm meaning. Then I also try to separate my real feelings from my overwhelming feelings. I always had it hard to actually now what is real and fake.

Lately, I've been hanging out a lot with my boyfriend and his friends. So on, I've been missing my friends, my girls, taking a cup of coffee with em and this have made me quite sad. Then again I need to understand that I will probably move around in this world and wherever you go there will be new people and new friends in your life. I guess I'm a little bit comfortable because I like to stick around with same friends. This only because I have problems with trusting people and I have my reasons.

I need to stop being silly and grow up, then again, give my feelings a break and that it's completely normal to miss family and friends. This is what I tell Kike to do, my boyfriend, to give himself a break.

As well, I miss speaking english and swedish, I'm tired of spanish and it happens. My brain is working 24 hours a day trying to remember every word I pick up from the streets or from friends. It's exhausting. I need to do more exercises speaking of yoga to improve my ability to focus but without getting exhausted. I have concentrations problems, especially when there is a lot of things going on around me. Here it's constant. It's a city with 22 million people so what could I expect? Here I can't go running on the quite fields a stormy day to free my mind and not think at all except that I'm gonna get myself around this route. Feeling the wind on my skin and hearing the movement of the fields and the nature. I need to find peace in other ways here and I'm having troubles with it. You can't get around easy here unless you have a car and right now we don't have it.

Soon I'm gonna get in contact with the embassy to start organizing papers and such, look for job, and arrange some things for my studies. First we are going to Palenque, Chiapas, to visist a friend of ours, Karolina, we gonna babysit her dog which I heard is quite a treasure. Now I need to get back to my house to take a shower and get in a mood for party, I'm not really there. Til then, have a great one! I'll try to take more photos, I probably buy a new camera and phone as soon as I have a job. Well, the phone I might just buy soooon.. If I'm gonna be working I will obviously need it. First I'm gonna check some prices etc. I don't want em to fool me. I don't trust cellphone companies, you shouldn't either. Always check the conditions etc.! Take care!

/The end