Sour throat, heart and brain

And feelin just like a ghost of myself. Hasnt been the most delightful weekend but Im moving forward from that. Right now is just gotta get outta there, and hopefully can keep being creative. The thing is that Im so depended on my mood and right now it feels like my whole body is aching, and it wont be better for a while.

At least not after tonight since I have thai boxning, starting last monday with ma man, now my ex-boyfriend so I just hope I dont have to see him so soon. Im not ready for that. Dont Know what Im ready for. I just wanna lick my wounds, get a hair cut and tattoo and do my stuff.

Went to a tatoo convention this weekend, hope to do a new tatoo but maybe it was for the best I didnt do one. Wanna make a fox on the backside of my leg. Im fascianated by them, following evolution and adapting themself so fast to new enviroments and situations.

Thats kind of what I have to do right now. Even If how much I just wanna be along, I cant stand it because my thoughts comes crumbling, about past relationsproblem. Just tryin to understand that I could have done nothing to change the situation and I could only see it going one way.

Now Im takin my sour self to work. Worst is have no apetite, for anything, när life. Guess I will feel better but its hard when everything tastes like shit. Fuck, I hate that I always fall in love like someone falls as sleep, first slowely and then all at once. Worst is that autumn is coming and this is not a very good start, guess I Will get a lot of alone time, and hopefully I will find that person that can appreciate me for who I am. Easier sad then done. Enough of sorrow, and more art and music making and lifeescaping, jeje, at least for now. Bye.